With three boys our day-to-day life is an adventure. In the midst of daily craziness keeping the gospel front and center is a daily challenge. But it’s THE KEY to the heart of our children.
The gospel centerpiece assumes two things. First, that you agree that parenting is a matter of the heart (see The Heart of the Matter is the Matter of the Heart). Second, that you agree that the goal of parenting is the glory of God (see Critiquing Your Goals).
Here are three practical steps to help you keep the gospel central in your parenting:
First Step – Discern Heart Issues
When things happen:
- Don’t focus primarily on the conflict, e.g. “who had it first” or “who started it.”
- Rather, focus on the heart issues that produced the debate in the first place.
- As we see from Luke 6:43-45 and Proverbs 4:23, the heart is the central issue.
Examine the following examples in this light.
- Revenge – Romans 12:17-20 (1 Peter 2:23)
- Pride/Love of Self – Philippians 2:1-4
- Fear – 1 John 4:18 (Hebrews 13:5)
- Desires/Conflict – James 4:1-3
APPLY: through the course of the day, ask your kids questions that reveal what’s in their heart. i.e. Were you trying to get revenge? Were you afraid? Did you just want what you wanted or were you thinking about others?
The answers help get to what’s in your child’s heart. Then you can emphasize the need they (and us too) have for Jesus to change them from the inside out.
Second Step – Use Scripture that Addresses the Heart Issues at Hand
Obviously this step assumes a growing knowledge of the Bible yourself. Therefore, you want to develop a stash of Bible verses that deal with the heart, parenting, etc.
Everyday Talk by John Younts (currently $1.99 on Kindle) is a great resource. It’s based on Deuteronomy 6:1-7 … It’s a practical guide for talking with our kids about the Lord throughout the everyday talk.
Can you believe that my kids struggle with selfishness! I began seeing this a few years ago and at first I would get mad! That really helps! NOT! I began praying for my heart and the hearts of my kids. Then I printed Phil 2:1-4 and gave it to my oldest son and put a copy on my desk. We reviewed it daily for a couple weeks, talked about it, and prayed together. Selfishness is not gone, but I have seen his and my heart change!
I’m currently reading a #Proverbaday with my oldest son. We highlight at least one verse that stands out to us each day. Then we share over breakfast and then at night. Through this we’re growing in wisdom.
Third Step – Pray with Your Children
Don’t force your kids to pray. Invite them to pray. Be creative. And teach them what prayer is and how to do it.
A few months ago I began going through the Lord’s Prayer with my sons. I outlined the prayer for them, explaining what each part meant. Then I asked my oldest son if he would pray at night twice a week. When I put him to bed on Tues and Thurs he prays. It’s still simple. But he’s learning and growing through it.
QUESTION: What would you add? What’s been helpful for you to keep the gospel center?