How to be an Awesome Dad!

Ed Choy — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 16:44:16 +0000

Dad’s don’t begin parenting thinking, “I hope to be a complete failure!” Most of us want to be awesome dad’s, right!? I do! I’m not claiming to be an awesome dad. But I learned something this weekend that may help.

Backpacking in the Shenandoah National Park.

Manhood Adventure

This weekend I took my 1o year old son Elijah on our first backpacking trip. This was also part of his rite of passage into the double digits (he turned 10 in March)!

Every month I take my sons out for breakfast (starting at 1st grade). I call it our manhood breakfast. We talk about manhood (based on Raising a Modern Day Knight), review the previous month, set new goals, and laugh… a lot!

When my sons turn 10 we ramp it up to an overnight manhood adventure. If you’re not an outdoors type you can make it a cookout, water park, or whatever fits your context.

Rite of passage manhood adventures will continue to ramp up at ages 13, 16, graduation from high school, graduation from college, and then at marriage. It’s not all planned out but I hope to take all three boys to the Grand Canyon or some place similar at age 16.

Before our trip this weekend my wise and wonderful leadership coach and friend Brad Bridges gave me some advice that is helping me become a more awesome dad. I think it can help you too. But before I share that, let me set it up for you…

Awesome God

Rich Mullins got it right when he wrote the song Awesome God.

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Homage to Rich Mullins, but Kirk Franklin does THE BEST version. Take a minute to get your praise, worship, and groove on HERE. Then check out this Hip-hop dance group version HERE.

What does all that have to do with being an awesome dad?

Glad you asked. It has EVERYTHING to do with being an awesome dad! Being an awesome dad is only possible because we have an awesome God. Brad’s advice was basically this: treat your son the way God has treated you! #BOOM #tweetthat

How has God treated me?

He is patient
He always listens
He is full of mercy
He is full of grace
He is always ready to forgive and does so completely
He is a great listener, always ready to hear my prayer
And SO much more!

How to be an Awesome dad

Here are a few tips I’m learning:

1. ASK ENDLESS QUESTIONS (thanks Brad). Parenting is all about our relationship with our kids. Ask HOW or WHAT questions and then LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN.

Awesome dads ask their kids endless HOW or WHAT questions! @ed_choy #parenting #manhood
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On our trip I asked my son lots of questions. I asked about his favorite ice cream flavors, how he thinks the Redskins will do this season, how school went this year, what could be better in the coming year, how he feels about home school and the potential to go into public middle school, and on and on.

The more time I gave him to answer the more he began asking me questions. It’s fun getting to know each other!

2. INVEST MEANINGFUL TIME. Kids spell love TIME. They don’t feel loved just by our hard work, monetary provisions, or sacrifices. Those are important, but kids (like most wives), feel loved when we spend time with them. They are not our projects. We don’t always need to teach a lesson, correct, or train. Love them by spending meaningful time.

Awesome dads invest meaningful time with their kids! @ed_choy #parenting #manhood
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Suggestions

Take your kids out for a special meal. Or just desert.
Do something they love.
Play games (our family does game night every Thurs)
Go for bike rides.
Take them on a trip when possible.

My son’s eyes lit up when I told him, “Elijah, I loved being with you on this trip.” I hugged him tightly. He felt my love because I had invested meaningful time with him.

3. ADMIT YOUR FAULTS. Our kids know we aren’t perfect. Okay, they know just about all our faults!

Awesome dads are quick to admit faults! @ed_choy #parenting #manhood
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You don’t have to be perfect to be an awesome dad. To be an awesome dad we have to be aware of our faults and quick to admit them. I have plenty of faults: impatient, proud, controlling, just to name a few.

It went something like this on our trip: “Son, daddy was wrong! Will you forgive me? I need Jesus and change as much as you or anyone. Will you pray for me, that my heart will change and for me to become more of a man/dad worth following?”